Previously on rescue me...
boo!
Jesus Christ, stack.
Hey, laurel and hardy.
Hey, how's the family?
Oh, they're fine, you know?
73 is stuck in there.
Probie went in after him.
There was a huge collapse.
This thing's blocked.
Stack! I'm gonna get you
Out of here. Stay with me, OK.
You told me you were a
One-Guy guy.
I am. That's why I'm
Screwing around with a woman.
See, see, I knew it, man.
You're such a jerk-Off, Mike.
I'm confused. I miss pussy.
We show up there. We totally
Act like we're together.
By 11 o'clock tonight, she can't
Keep her hands off the phone.
Johnny and Janet cursing our
Souls to eternal hell.
Maggie Gavin, will you
Marry me?
I already said yes, doofus.
Come on, you're totally
Serious?
Yes.
You're gonna marry me?
Yes.
Oh, that is awesome.
Just so I'm clear. I marry
Her, I get to have conjugal
Visits?
Once every 10 days for an
Hour at a time.
Perfect. You got any
Breath spray?
I'm Natalie.
Hi, Natalie. I'm Franco.
So, this shit you're trying
To forget. What's her name?
No, no. No, no, no.
I think it's a little too soon
For that much truth.
I had an epiphany, Tom.
I'm turning over a new leaf.
A new leaf?
Yeah, I got closure.
Shit.
That's got to be tough,
Huh, Tommy? Knowing I'm banging
Your ex. Knowing you're never
Gonna get mine.
Tommy...
yeah...
I always knew that you'd
Be good at that.
I think I'm... I think I'm
Ready to go again.
Oh...
what?
Hey, stud.
Is that Janet?
Is that angie?
Well, the moment is complete.
She's got a lot of stuff that
She left here that she still
Comes to pick up sometimes.
She's probably... like maybe
Pick up a dress?
Got a long way to go. Is it
Anywhere we know?
Smells like food on the
Stove to me, doesn't it?
Yeah.
FDNY. Hello.
Fire department. Open up.
FDNY, let's go!
Pop it.
All right. FDNY.
Oh, my God. We got a customer
Right in here.
Holy shit.
Jesus Christ.
That's one guy?
Yeah. You believe this?
We got two thirds of
The million man march
Right here.
Let's get him up and get
Him back to the circus.
Or the knicks.
Same thing really. Ready?
With your legs.
Lift your knees.
Oh, Jesus! God. It's like
Trying to lift rhode island.
Rhode island's not this
Tall, pal.
Guys, I got another broad
Back there.
OK. Hey, we got another
Girl in the back. Grab her.
OK. Holy shit, is that
Dennis rodman?
Go get the girl.
All right.
Michael, give us a hand,
Will you?
Holy shit. Kareem abdul
Jabbar.
He looks really young.
That's such a positive issue
With black people. They always
Look a lot younger than
They are, you know?
Let me try.
Jesus, look at the size of
That guy. No wonder it took you
So long to get him out.
Yeah, we were thinking about
Cutting him up and bringing him
Down in pieces or something.
That would have meant an extra
Trip down to get a saw.
You OK?
I've got dry mouth.
Yeah, man. My mouth is
Dry, too.
I'm starving. Are you hungry?
I could eat.
Pizza.
Yeah.
And chips.
And dip.
Dip. Yeah, man. Dip.
Hey, Chief, are you there?
Yeah, Garrity. Go ahead.
Uh, listen, Chief. Mikey
And I, we got into this back
Room here.
Yeah?
Looks like a goddamn
Greenhouse. Chief, it's amazing.
There's like beds with dirt
And plants and all kinds of
Sunlamps. I think that must be
What caused the fire.
Are we talking about what I
Think we're talking about?
Uh, yeah...
I don't know, Chief. What are
We talking about?
Pot, marijuana, weed.
Yes, yes. That's definitely
What we're talking about.
This guy is growing, like,
Hundreds of plants. At least he
Used to be. They've all gone up
In smoke now. Smells like the
Inside of a bong in here.
Bonggg...
that's such a funny word.
Garrity, get your ass out
Here on the double.
Hey, uh, Chief?
What?
Should I, uh, should I
Bring mikey with me?
Yes, goddammit, yes.
Hey, come on.
Bong.
Bonggg...
bong!
Goons. I'm surrounded by
Goons.
Hey, boys, do me a favor.
Keep an eye on my friend here.
I got to notify the cops. This
Is now officially a crime scene.
Dude.
Dude?
Yeah, there's nothing
In there. Just growing
Flowers in there.
What kind of flowers?
Geraniums.
Settle down, boys, will you?
Get me some cd73s out of
My rig.
Hey, we got any Bob marley?
I'm ready for some reggae,
Chief.
Cd73s, they're exposure
Forms. You guys have been
Exposed to a foreign substance
During the course of operations
Which means we have to
Report it. Which means we have
To wait around and fill the
Forms out. You guys are not
Paying attention to me anyway.
So, I think what he's saying
Is there's no cds, man.
No music.
Wow.
Screw the cds, I want pizza.
Yeah, man.
All right, guys. All that
Stuff I said about God over
The years.
Yeah.
I take most of it back.
Why? Oh...
yeah.
Hey, brother.
God's pizza. We deliver.
I'd do her.
You would?
Oh, yeah, in a heartbeat.
That's interesting.
Wait a minute. Who are we
Talking about here?
Heather mills mccartney.
Ex-Wife of former beatle Paul.
Yeah. I'd hit that.
Really?
Oh, yeah, man.
Even though she only has
The one leg.
Tommy, it's a bonus.
How is it a bonus?
It gives you an extra
Sexual position to enjoy,
For one. That being, her
Laying on her side, OK, the
Side with the leg, you straddle
Said leg, and do her sideways
Without worrying about the
Extra pesky leg getting in
The way.
What about the stub?
I didn't think about that.
Yeah.
Pass.
How you doing with those
Forms, boys?
Still working on it, Chief.
Here you go.
Since when are you kenneth
Mills mccartney?
Did I write that?
Come on.
Hey, probie. Wake up.
Anymore pizza?
Your social security number,
Mike. You're missing a few
Digits.
Oh, what did I put down?
6.
6 digits?
No. Just the number 6.
Come on. Work on it. Come on.
Look.
What's up, Garrity?
Guess what? What if the
Government is, like, secretly
Recording everything that we
Do and say with secret devices
That are planted, like, right
Out in the open, right under
Our noses? This parking meter
Right here? I was walking by,
And it started blinking. And
Then it started making this,
Like, camera shutter clicking
Sound. I think it took my
Picture.
Was it your good side?
It was straight on.
Oh.
I was squinting though.
You better get back and
Do it again.
You're right. I'm gonna
Go back.
Hey, fix your hair, dude.
♪ on another day,
Come on, come on,
With these ropes I tied,
Can we do no wrong?
Now we grieve
'Cause now is gone,
Things were good
When we were young,
With my teeth locked down
I can see the blood
Of a thousand men
Who have come and gone,
Now we grieve
'Cause now is gone,
Things were good
When we were young,
Is it safe to say?
Come on, come on,
Was it right to leave?
Come on, come on,
Will I ever learn?
Come on, come on,
Come on, come on *
Jesus. You scared me.
How you doing?
Not so good.
I go to the bathroom twice an
Hour and cry my eyes out.
Just, I don't want John to
Hear me.
I thought they were just
Taking one leg.
Oh, no, no. That's, uh...
that was yesterday.
They took the other one this
Morning.
What am I gonna tell him when
He wakes up?
I just... hope he doesn't
Blame me.
No, no, no. He won't
Blame you.
Look at him. He's half
A man.
Sorry.
It's OK, it's OK, it's OK.
It's OK.
You go home. Hang out with
The kids, OK?
Are you sure?
Yeah. I'll stay with him.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK. Thank you.
OK.
What are you doing?
Just getting some of my
Clothes. Some of my stuff.
Moving out?
Yeah, I guess so.
I think so.
So, were you gonna tell me,
Or were you just gonna sneak
Off in the middle of the night
Like a goddamn pussy?
It's morning, dude.
You know what I mean, man.
Look, I don't want to make
A big thing out of this,
You know? You're a great guy,
But it was just a mistake.
Don't call it that, Mike.
It's not right for me.
You know, I thought, maybe I'd
Get a little more comfortable
With the idea, but now I know
That that's never gonna happen.
Oh, oh. So all those times
I was going down on you, you
Were uncomfortable. Well, you
Seemed pretty comfortable to
Me, Mike. I mean, if you didn't
Like what was happening, why
The hell didn't you just
Speak up, man?
You know how it is when
Someone's going down on you.
You don't want to be rude.
Well, I catch you here again,
I'm gonna kick your ass.
Now get out.
What about the rest of
My stuff?
You got 2 minutes. Anything
You leave behind is going in
The garbage. I'd start moving
If I were you.
Good morning.
Somebody needs to smile.
Yeah, give me a couple
Of days.
Where'd Jeannie go?
Nurse took her outside for
Some fresh air. You know, I
Thought I was gonna have to
Move her out of here. With
This place costing so much.
She nearly fell apart when I
Mentioned that possibility.
So for the last month or so,
I've been out there busting my
Ass trying to earn a little
Extra scratch.
Now, I tell her she can stay.
Everything's all right, and...
she completely falls apart.
A real meltdown.
She doesn't even know who I am.
Mr. Reilly, you might want
To get a little alzheimer's
Of your own.
Excuse me?
Despite this little episode,
Jeannie's happy here. Now you
Have to be happy, too.
If the visits disturb you,
Stop remembering to come.
You telling me forget about
My wife?
She's forgotten about you.
Because she's sick.
Does it matter what the
Reason is?
Who the hell do you think
You are talking to me like that?
Karleen simpson. Nice to
Meet you.
Get the hell out.
I'm sorry if I upset you,
Really. I was only trying
To help.
Don't let the disease claim
Both of you, Mr. Reilly.
That's what I was trying
To say.
Hey. I thought I smelled
Something. What you making,
Baby?
Huevos rancheros.
Oh, looks like scrambled
Eggs to me.
Well, you didn't have any
Tomatoes, onions, chiles, or
Cheese, so that's what it is.
You want to grab me some juice?
Yeah.
Oh, snap. Look at this.
Surprise.
Wow, baby, I don't know who
This guy is, but he is stunning.
Work that camera, biotch.
You like?
Yeah, yeah. It's nice.
You are an excellent subject.
You have depth. Stuff working
Beneath the surface. Secrets.
No. No, no, no. No secrets
Here, babe.
So the little girl's room
Down the hall. That's not
A secret?
Apparently not.
You want to tell me?
I had a daughter. She's not
Here anymore.
She died?
Don't worry. She's fine.
Very much alive. Living a life
Only about a thousand times
Better than I can ever give her.
You want to explain?
Another time.
What about you though, huh?
Any secrets you want to share?
I'm an open book.
You think?
How come you're always coming
Over here? I mean, I mentioned
Going to your place a couple
Of times, you always manage
To sidestep it. What's the deal?
Maybe my place is a pig sty.
No. I don't think so.
So, anything you want to
Tell me?
OK. There is one thing.
You're late for work.
Have some eggs. I'm gonna grab
My stuff and walk out with you.
Uh-Huh.
Both legs?
Yeah.
How's he doing?
He's so doped up, he doesn't
Even know, you know?
How about deb,
She holding up?
I think she's afraid he's
Gonna blame her when he comes
Out of it. What's wrong
With you?
Rough morning.
Oh.
Hey, thanks for noticing,
Buddy.
All right.
OK. OK.
What the hell was that?
Probably a holdover from
The weed.
Hey, bro. What's going on?
How you doing, brother?
Do me a favor.
Stop touching me, OK?
Mike just touched you.
I saw him.
Mike got a special...
you know how the pope gives
Out special dispensations
Sometimes? That's what Mike
Got, OK?
All right. Well, I mean,
You're gonna have to start
Getting used to the fact that
In real life, we're gonna be
Bros, bro, so...
you're not married to my
Sister yet.
But it's happening soon,
You know, and even if I try to
Not call you bro, I'm still
Gonna be giving you bro energy
Loud and clear.
Stop calling me bro.
You call me bro anymore, I'm
Gonna punch you in the face.
Very hard.
See, that kind of talk, used
To make me think that you
Hated me, but now I know, it's
Sibling rivalry.
Get your hands...
yo, guys. Come check
This out.
What does he want?
I don't know.
Oh, yeah.
You gotta be kidding me.
Nice hog, Lou.
Hey, thanks.
That is some sweet machine.
Jesus, you know what we got
To do, we got to get a couple
Of those bikes, you know what
I mean? Start our own little
Family gang. The gatlin family
Ramblers.
Go inside the house.
Why, why?
Go inside the house
Right now.
Family squabble. No biggie.
So how do you guys like
The ride?
Nothing like a new set of
Shiny wheels to turn a midlife
Crisis around.
At this point, jer, I'm not
Interested in turning it
Around, I'm interested in
Outrunning the goddamn thing.
Yo, Lou, let me take it for
A spin around the block.
I don't think so. You got
A recruitment roster to report
On inside. And then you got a
Sink full of dishes.
It's a mess.
Nice. Make the puerto rican
Guy wash the dishes. Thanks a
Lot, Chief. Now you know why
I'm taking that lieutenant's
Exam. All right?
Hey, don't crack your head
On this thing. I need you
Around here.
Bikes.
So, I guess this is what the
Terminator looks like without
The steroids, huh?
Very funny, very funny.
It's the new me. Yeah, I'm
Getting the rest of my leathers
Next week. I'm gonna find some
Nice, chunky blonde girl with
A tattoo right on her ass crack.
Mm-Hmm.
Then you know, after that,
Probably be working security
For the stones. You want me to
Get you backstage, meet mick?
OK, what's going on?
Come on, Tom. A little
Support. I'm trying... I'm trying
New things.
Uh-Huh. I don't get it.
Look, for the first time
In a long time, you know, I feel
Like I have possibilities.
I feel like I can maybe turn
Things around. Maybe even,
You know, God forbid, be happy.
What's the point in getting
There if you're gonna burn up
In a fire, huh?
Right.
Look, I got this cousin
Down in Florida.
Yeah.
He's got this fishing boat.
Charter boat. Takes rich
Tourists out for the day.
Fishing, you know. Makes a
Whole boatload of money.
Got a first mate, the guy got
Married, he's not coming back.
He asked me if I was interested,
I said, no. But now I'm
Thinking, the guy's got a
Guest house for me, you know.
A beautiful boat. Fresh air,
Sunshine. Now, I'm thinking yes.
I mean, it's an interesting
Plan. It's a beautiful boat,
But, not for you.
Well, why not?
Well... Florida. First of all.
I mean jeb Bush, Florida, OK?
Yeah.
That's number one. Number
Two, have you heard about the
Alligators. It's been all over
Cnn the last couple of weeks,
There have been alligators
Climbing out of the swamps
Down there, and eating joggers
Right off the jogging path.
There was, like, two women
Jogging, and they got eaten by
Alligators.
I don't jog.
When they're done eating
The joggers, they're gonna come
After the sedentary people, OK?
And then, the bermuda triangle
Which is right off the coast
Of Florida. I mean, you could
Just, disappear, OK? Not to
Mention, cubans. I'm not talking
Cigars, I'm talking actual
Cubans. Wall to wall. All right?
Florida's not for you.
I don't know, you know?
Maybe you didn't hear me ask
About a little support before.
Lou, I'm just saying.
Ahh...
yeah.
Look who decides to pick up.
Listen, man. Something's
Come up, you know. Something
That you got to know. Something
That I don't want to tell you
About over a telephone, so I was
Kind of hoping you and me, you
Know, we could get together.
Have a little face to face.
I could tell you in person.
Tommy, are you there?
Listen, Tommy, man. How long
Are we gonna keep on doing this,
You know? I mean, you and I,
We go a lot of years ahead of
Us, brother, and I just, what
Do you say, we work together
And just try to put this
Bullshit behind us, man?
You know? When can we get
Together?
Seanster.
Hey, hey. What's up?
Hey, man. You want to go
Grab a drink?
I can't, man. I got stuff to
Take care of for the wedding
With the lovely bride to be.
You're still marrying
Maggie, right?
Of course, why?
The "lovely" thing threw me
Off.
Hey, speaking of lovely,
How's it going with Natalie? She
Sounds great, dude.
Yeah. She is. Possibly.
Possibly, why is something
Wrong?
I don't know, man. I think
She might have another guy on
The hook. A guy she could be
Living with.
No shit.
Yeah. She never wants to go
Back to her place for some
Reason. Plus every time we're
Together, her phone rings like
100 times an hour. I could swear
It's the same person every time.
Pretty sure it's a dude.
Man, that sucks.
Yeah. Tell me about it.
Finally found a girl I can get
Serious about, turns out she
Could be playing me.
Goddamn karma again, right?
You got to confront her,
You know, see if it's true.
See what's going on.
Yeah, I know. Love's a pain
In the balls.
Tell me about it.
You know, what have I told
You a million, zillion,
Gajillion goddamn times.
Uh, no.
About the car, OK?
Oh, I don't...
what do we do every 3,000
Miles?
We check the oil.
Oh, right.
Check the oil, check the
Oil, check the oil.
OK, OK. Check the oil.
I got it. Look, I'm very busy.
I got lots of things. I got
Lots of lists.
OK, on one of the lists, put
Check the oil, OK? Do you want
Me to put one of them little
Stickers in, you know when you
Go to the shop, they put the
Sticker in the window.
No, bossy. I got it.
I'm not being bossy. I'm
Just trying to help you have a
Safe vehicle.
You are being very...
stick up the assy.
Stick up the what?
Honey, what is wrong
With you?
Nothing's wrong with me.
Come on, you're so, you're,
Like, on edge.
I'm not on edge.
Tommy, Tommy.
Don't, don't, don't start
With the tommys.
Tommy...
OK. I think the crew may be
Breaking up.
What?
Yeah.
Frank's taking the
Lieutenant's test, and probie's
Put...
come here.
Probie's been thinking of
Putting in for a transfer, and
I think even Lou's thinking of
Leaving.
No way.
Yeah.
Sheila.
Oh, hi.
Hi. How you doing?
I'm good. How are you?
Good to see you.
Garrity, your mom's on the
Phone.
All right. I'll see you
Later.
Bye.
See you, bro.
Yeah.
Bro?
What else? What do you mean?
You work with a bunch of
Guys, you laugh your ass off
When you're together, and you
Know, blah blah blah, things
Click. And then, you know, I'm
Expected to work with a bunch
Of college age kids who decide
They want to be heroes after
9/11, you know what I mean?
I don't want to get my ass
Melted off working with these
Guys who don't know what the
Hell they're doing. Losing Lou
Would be bad enough, but losing
Franco, I mean, come on.
OK. What about Sean?
Sean's marrying Maggie.
He's gonna be dead in 31/2
Months tops anyways.
If I lose Lou and Franco, I
Don't think I can do this job
Anymore.
Let me help you.
I can do that. I can make a
Better life for the both of us.
OK, we can go anywhere. We
Could, um, we could buy a place
On the beach, and we can spend
The rest of our lives for the
Next 30 years watching the kids
Grow up and getting married
And their grandkids play in
The ocean, and in the sand.
I am so rich. I have all that
Widow money just sitting in the
Bank untouched. The only thing
I've done since Jimmy went is
Change houses a couple times,
And I made a pretty penny on
The profit, thank you very much.
All I have to do is call the
Bank, and the next day, I would
Have a check for $3.1 million.
How do you have that much
Money?
Interest, Tommy. I mean, it's
Been 5 years.
Shit, it has been 5 years.
Jesus Christ.
What's the matter?
You know Johnny stackhouse.
Of course I do.
You hear about what happened?
Yes.
They took his legs.
Oh, God.
We went to probie school
Together. Me, him, and Jimmy.
Makes you think, you know?
Honey, look at me. I won't
Let anything happen to you.
Look at me. I would never let
Anything happen to you. Just
Tell me to call the bank. I will
Call the bank.
Shh.
Hey, Sheila.
Hi.
How you doing?
Damn, girl, you look fantastic.
How you been, huh?
Good to see you.
It's good to see you, too.
You smell good, too.
I do?
Nice perfume. Yeah.
Yeah, see you.
Oh, that's it, baby.
Oh, yeah, ride the pony.
Ride the baloney pony.
Theodore, is this is as good
As you thought it was gonna be?
Don't talk. I want you to put
All your focus and all your
Energy into the sex. That's
Your goal for the next 40
Minutes. If it isn't sex,
Don't do it.
Goddamn it, get off. I got
To answer the phone.
Goddamn guards calling every
10 minutes. How in the hell do
They expect us to get into a
Rhythm?
They need to know that you're
Still here, and I'm not dead.
What am I gonna do?
Strangle you with your own
Panties?
Oh, you want to try that?
Yeah.
Hello. Oh, hello, mo.
Yeah, I'm still here. And she's
Still alive.
Hi.
Listen, I knew the deal
Coming in, but this is goddamn
Disruptive. Trying to get a
Little pussy here. It's not like
I'm gonna climb up inside there
And have her smuggle me out.
Jesus, Mike, you try and
Flush a dictionary?
Will you keep it down in
There. I'm trying to have a
Private conversation here.
It's like the battle of
The bulge in there.
Bobby, give me five,
Will you? I got something going
Here, all right?
I gotta go out ot the truck
And pick up the heavy artillery
Anyway.
Don't go too far, OK?
I got something wicked brewing
Here.
OK, see, here's the thing
Is, sir. I, uh...
see, my family, they really
Raised me right. I think.
And I wanted to do this
Respectfully and officially.
So that's why I'm here,
Mr. Gavin. To ask you most
Sincerely, and most...
some other word, for your
Daughter Maggie's hand in
Marriage.
Are you retarded?
I can't believe Tommy's
Missing it.
I'm taking notes.
OK.
I just, I mean, I had some
Reading comprehension issues
In school. I had to take the
Sats, like, 11 times, and I
Still didn't pass.
What's the point in asking
Me for her hand in marriage
When you've already asked her
For it?
That's a good point. That's
A good point, dad. Is it OK
If I call you that? It's not
Too early to call you that.
I don't know.
Is it too early for me to call
You asshole?
... to call you
Asshole.
You do realize that she is
A bloodsucking hell bitch.
What?
This is a private
Conversation.
You see these shoes, these
Are gonna go right up your ass,
Old man.
You see how she talks to me?
And I'm her father. Imagine
What she'll say to you.
I don't have to imagine.
She really, she...
you know, you seem like
A nice kid. A little slow,
But nice. You see that door
Over there?
Mm-Hmm.
Use it. And never look back.
You know what, that's it,
You're out. You're not invited
To the wedding. No invitation
For you.
What about the wedding after
This one? Am I banned from
That, too?
OK, please. Will you guys
Just please not fight, really.
As a member, future member of
The family. Please don't fight.
OK, listen, sir. Marrying
Maggie, it's the biggest and
The scariest decision I've ever
Made in my life, but it's also,
It's the smartest and the
Surest, and I just, I love her,
You know? I love her fire and
Her passion. And I even love
Her anger. So it, really, it's
Important to me, to us,
Mr. Gavin, if we could have...
your blessing.
Oh... oh, hell.
Welcome to the family...
retard.
That's...
that's so great.
Goddammit!
Sheesh!
And they wonder why we kill.
Hello?
Hey, girl. It's me.
You must be psychic. I've
Been thinking about you all day.
Yeah, I've been thinking
About you, too. Where you at?
I'm at home.
Really? Hey, uh, how about
I come over there.
Uh...
how about I meet you out
Somewhere, or we go back to
Your place?
Franco?
Nat, what's going on, huh?
What do you mean?
I think you got something
Going on over there, OK?
Something you don't want me
Knowing about. Now are you gonna
Come clean or what?
It's complicated.
Is it a guy?
Yeah. But it isn't what
You think.
Yeah, well, then why don't
You explain it to me then, OK?
Let it ring.
Mr. Reilly. Hello.
What do you want?
I came to apologize for
The other day.
You're lucky I didn't talk
To your supervisor.
The shit you said.
You have to understand,
I see the pain. So much of it.
The afflicted, they are free
From it as far as we know.
But the families, the loved ones
Left behind. If you don't want
To let go, I understand.
But your Jeannie, just because
She living in another world,
That doesn't mean you have to
Stop living in this one.
I wish you the best.
What did you say your
Name was? Karla?
Karleen.
Thanks, karleen.
Thanks a lot.
My heart's a lot lighter now.
I'll see you soon. I hope.
So, dude, she gets all quiet.
Big moment of drama.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
Hey, Chief. Good morning.
Good morning, boys.
What's up, Chief. Anyway,
She cops to it, man. She is
Living with a dude.
Holy shit. You were right.
Well, almost. It's her
Brother. He's, like, uh,
A little slow. So she looks
After him. I'm going over there
Tonight, I'm gonna meet him.
Crisis averted.
Oh, jeez. Good work, brother.
Nice to hear.
Yeah.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey, how are you, can I
Help you?
Uh, yeah, Mike Siletti works
Here, right?
Uh, yeah. He's upstairs.
No, that's OK. I just wanted
To drop this off. He left it
At my place. I'm Chris. He's
Probably never mentioned me.
No, I don't think so.
Well, I'm not surprised.
Anyway, I didn't know if this
Was important. It looks kind of
Official.
This is a transfer.
What is this, a joke?
I don't think so. That is
Mike's signature right there.
Jesus Christ. You work day
In and day out with a guy,
You think you know him.
Well, I'm sure there are some
Other things about Mike
You don't know.
Oh, yeah, like what?
Well, let's just say, he's
A big fan of sex in the city.
Oh, me, too. It's a great
Show. You know what I never
Understood? Why we never got
To see Sarah Jessica parker's
Tits. You know, I mean cynthia
Nixon, sure. Kim cattrell,
Why not? Never Sarah Jessica
Parker's.
All right, let's just put it
This way. He's playing for the
Other team, dude.
No way.
What's up, dude?
What's up, dude, that's all
You got to say to me?
Pretty much.
OK, for your information,
Chris was just here. All right,
I know everything. I know what's
Going on.
Chris was here?
That's right.
Oh, shit.
Yeah, I mean, we're such
Good friends. Huh, Mike, when
Were you gonna tell me
About this?
Never.
Asshole.
I was confused.
Yeah, OK, well, now I'm
Confused, too, all right?
Why didn't you talk to me
About it? Maybe I would've gone
The same way.
Get out of here.
Yeah, bro. I like to keep it
Fresh. I like to try new things.
Switch hit. Different positions.
How can you go around behind
Our backs and do this?
Sean, you gotta know the
Truth. It was just Chris.
Oh, don't pin this on him.
But it was him. I mean, we're
Talking maybe a half a dozen
Blow jobs. It was always him
Blowing me, I never kissed him
Or slept in the same bed
With him. It was just the blow
Jobs, I swear.
OK, what are we talking
About here?
I'm talking about what Chris
Told you.
Yeah, all Chris told me
About was this transfer order.
Holy shit!
Sean, please, just don't tell
Anybody.
Ba ba ba boom .
Mike's gay.
Oh, hell. I know that.
You talked to Chris, too?
Who's Chris?
Chris is his lover man,
Uh, guy.
I can explain, Lou. Please,
Just don't let anybody
Else know.
Know what?
Mike's gay.
Yeah. Tell me something
I don't know.
Oh, you mean, gay gay.
You know, the place I used
To live, they were putting this
New building up across the
Street, and every morning on
My way to work, I'd pass by
The construction guys out there.
And there was this one guy,
Chris, and I noticed him a
Couple of times, and one day,
I was passing by, he sort of,
Like, smiled at me.
OK, I think I'm gonna puke.
It freaked me out, too.
You know, every morning, he'd,
Like, give me this, like, smile.
And one day, when I stepped out,
He wasn't there.
Did you check the end of
Your cock?
Lou. Let him talk.
Go ahead, kid.
He was gone, and I sort of,
Like...
missed him.
All right. My balls just
Went up behind my lungs.
I don't know how to describe
The way I was feeling, you know?
He was a nice guy. And we
Started talking, and, um,
You know, I guess, I was,
Like, lonely or something.
So I moved into his place,
And it was great at first,
And... then it got weird.
Oh. Then it got weird.
'Cause I was wondering when
That was gonna kick in.
He was into me in...
that way. That's when the blow
Jobs started.
And it freaked me out at first,
Guys. I knew it wasn't right
For me, you know? L-L-I...
he's gone, I'm not with him.
It's over, I left, and that's
The whole story.
Bullshit, Mike, what about
The transfer?
I filled the form out, but I
Didn't turn it in.
Cut the shit, Mike. You
Already got your new house all
Picked out.
How do you know that?
Because, he's playing for
Their softball team.
What?
Yeah.
Your boyfriend, Chris, he
Told me that you were batting
For the other team.
What?
OK, ignoring that, we have
A serious issue here. It's a
Matter of what everyone is
Comfortable with. Given the
Close quarters we share on a
Daily basis, I don't know where
The hell to even start.
Yeah, I'll tell you where
To start, Chief. I don't want
Him showering with us, that's
For sure. Nothing personal,
Mikey, I just don't need you
Staring at my hangdown like it's
The ala carte special at
Chez homo.
You know what, and another
Thing, I don't want to know
About your new boyfriends, or
Your new clothes, or nights out
At the disco, or liza minnelli
Or ass toys. Off limits from
Now on.
I'm not gay. I didn't do
Anything sexual to him, you
Know? I'm totally into chicks.
Totally. And... I'm... seeing
This girl for the past couple
Of weeks.
Yeah. A girl named dave.
You know what? If this is
The way it's gonna be, if I
Can't make a little mistake in
My personal life, then maybe
I should transfer!
Hey, hey, kid. Wait.
Wait, wait, wait. Come here.
Come here.
Listen, guys. Better or worse,
I think we all consider
Ourselves kind of a family here.
Correct?
Yeah, right?
All right?
Now whether Mike's a fag...
sorry, Mike. Or not, he's a
Part of that family. Correct?
I think as a firefighter, he's,
You know, been starting to
Pull his own weight. You know?
You know, and maybe he acts
A little faggy from time to
Time. Sorry, Mike. But you know,
In the shit, he's been learning,
He's been performing. I mean,
Johnny stack would not be alive
Today without mikey here.
Right? As far as it goes here
In the house, I trust the kid.
You know? I feel like if I'm,
You know, if I'm stuck somewhere
In the job, that he's got my,
Uh, you know, he's got me
Covered. Come here, kid.
Come here.
Thanks, Tommy.
I love you, man.
I got no problem with this.
10 bucks says mikey's hard.
I heard that.
I'm in.
I'll take a piece of that.
Hey. So how you doing?
Good. Come on in.
Yeah. Wow. Incredible.
I'm finally getting to look
At the place.
Starting to think you lived
In a cardboard box somewhere.
Richard, come say hi. He
Loves meeting new people.
Great.
This is my big brother rich.
Rich, this is Franco.
How's it going?
Oh, uh, great, man.
How you doing? I mean, other
Than the obvious stuff.
Sorry.
If you want to run, do it
Now and get it over with.
No, sweetheart. Not me.
I'm sticking.
Play checkers with me.
Checkers? Yeah, sure.
I thought the three of us
Could go out and get something
To eat. I'll just go wash up.
You guys play a game, and I'll
Change and come back.
Don't take long.
You'll be fine. Let him
Win, rich.
Sit down.
Oh, yeah.
What's your name again?
Oh, I'm Franco.
Franco. I go first.
Sure.
Now you go.
All right, um...
you know, I really, I don't
Know this game that well.
I'll move for you.
OK.
Thanks, rich.
You suck.
Yeah. Well, uh... I don't
Think the learning curve's
That steep. I'll figure it out.
Uh, dude, I really don't think
You should be... plastic's not
For eating, man. Nat!
Don't tell her.
I will kick your goddamn ass.
No problem.
Your move.
All right.
What have you got there?
Just a little motivation.
I don't know if he can get
Through this, Tom. God knows
If anybody can, it's him.
We picked this place out.
To retire to. Bought it last
Fall. I've been buying
Furniture and patio furniture,
And pillows. Lots of pillows.
God, he hates pillows.
Anyways, he kept, he kept saying
He was gonna put in for his
Pension, you know? Not that he
Was serious. I think he was
Just yessing me to death.
He lived for the job. But now,
If he goes, what do I get?
At least the widows from 9/11,
Not that you can put a price
On any one life, I know that,
But at least they have some
Money to carry on. Me, I got
Nothing.
Half a husband. And a house.
Full of pillows.
I don't know, maybe if he wakes
Up and sees this, maybe it will
Give him some strength. Maybe
We'll both end up there somehow.
That wasn't so bad. You're
Really good with him.
Yeah, well, you know, I've
Had a lot of practice. Couple
Guys in my house are only a
Notch or two above your brother,
If that.
Man, how did I get so lucky?
I don't know. I was just
Thinking the same thing myself.
Nigger.
Did he just...
Richard, watch your language.
Did he just call me a nigger?
He has a little tourette's
Thing going on in addition to
Everything else.
Right, uh, papa, I'm
Puerto rican. If you want to
Call me a name, at least try to
Keep it in the right ballpark,
OK?
Keep walking. I'm tired.
OK.
Nigger.
Whoa, whoa. What did you
Just call me, man?
Uh, hey, brother. It's cool.
He was talking to me.
Oh, it's cool, it's cool?
He just calls you a nigger and
That's cool? What kind of stupid
Ass nigger are you?
I'm puerto rican, man.
Oh, goddamn spic.
Look, man. We don't want any
Problems, all right? It's cool.
Nigger.
OK, we got to go.
Sorry, man. Sorry.
Come on, guys.
What the hell happened to my
Bunker gear? It's like somebody
Washed it and it shrank.
That's mine. That's my
New gear.
What?
You know, Maggie, she didn't
Want to take my name after we
Get married, so I thought I'd
Take hers, you know? I'm gonna
Be Sean Garrity-Gavin.
You're shitting me, right?
No. God, not at all.
I mean, it's too many
Goddamn letters to put on the
Back. Plus there's that slashy
Dashy thing. What's that called?
The hyphen.
Yeah, so I just, I thought
I'd use yours. I mean, I know
It's gonna be problematic seeing
Us two brothers working at the
Same house, but we'll figure
It out.
My life's officially in
The shitter, by the way.
Listen, don't look now,
But you're going for another
Lap around the bowl.
Christ.
Um...
I'd call the cops, but looks
Like they're already here.
You all right?
Yeah, I'll be all right.
Hey.
I'm here because, uh... you know,
I didn't want you finding out
From somebody else.
Janet's pregnant.
It wasn't planned.
You know, it just happened.
It is what it is.
And we're happy.
Obviously, we don't know what
The sex of the child is, but
Look at the upside, Tommy.
If it's a boy, then dad can
Stop with that whole male heir
Bullshit thing that he keeps
Talking about.
OK, Tommy?
You're asking me if it's OK?
Yeah.
Congratulations.
You coming?
Yeah.